As we welcome a new year, I challenge you to think bigger than the traditional New Year's Resolution. Resolutions often follow a predictable pattern: lose weight, save money, spend less time on social media. While well-intentioned, research shows that most resolutions fail by February. Why? Because they often focus on external achievements rather than internal alignment with what truly matters.
This year, I invite you to try something different. Instead of just asking, “What do I want to accomplish?” ask yourself:
“When I look back on my life, what do I want it to be about?”
This powerful question shifts the focus from short-term goals to long-term values. It’s not just about checking things off a list, it’s about creating a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling.
What Are Values, and Why Do They Matter?
Values are the principles that guide and inspire you. They reflect the kind of person you want to be and the life you want to lead. Unlike goals, which are specific and measurable, values are ongoing. You don’t achieve a value; you live it.
A goal might be “Run a marathon.”
The value behind it could be “Health” or “Perseverance.”
When goals align with your values, they feel more meaningful and achievable. Even if you don’t hit the goal exactly, you’ve still honored the value—and that’s what matters most.
How Values Show Up in Resolutions
Here are a few examples of common values (inspired by the Russ Harris Acceptance and Commitment Therapy values checklist) and how they can guide your resolutions:
Connection
Resolution: Schedule a weekly coffee date with a friend or family member.
Reflection: How can you deepen your relationships this year?
Growth
Resolution: Take a course, read a challenging book, or explore a new hobby.
Reflection: How would a focus on learning shape your year?
Kindness
Resolution: Volunteer once a month or practice daily acts of kindness.
Reflection: How can you show compassion for others—and yourself?
Courage
Resolution: Speak up in meetings, have a difficult conversation, or try something new
Reflection: What would it mean to live more boldly this year?
Creativity
Resolution: Start a creative project, like writing, painting, or gardening.
Reflection: How could creativity bring joy and self-expression into your life?
Self-Compassion
Resolution: Practice mindfulness or write a self-kindness journal.
Reflection: How can you be more gentle with yourself in the coming year?
Sometimes, our resolutions stem from societal pressures or comparisons rather than personal values. By focusing on what truly matters to you, you can release the weight of "should" and instead embrace what genuinely aligns with your vision for the year.
Taking the Next Steps
If you’re ready to live a life guided by your values, here’s how you can start:
Review a Values Checklist
Use tools like the Russ Harris Values Checklist to explore a range of values, such as connection, courage, kindness, and creativity. Reflect on which ones resonate most deeply with you right now.
Identify Your Top Three
From the list, narrow down to the three values that feel most meaningful to you at this stage of your life. Ask yourself:
• How do these values show up in my daily life?
• What would my life look like if I fully lived these values?
Set Intentions, Not Just Goals
Rather than aiming for traditional resolutions, create intentions tied to your values. For example:
• If your value is connection, your intention might be to spend more quality time with loved ones.
• If your value is growth, your intention could be to challenge yourself to learn a new skill or embrace opportunities for personal development.
Revisit and Reflect
Living your values is an ongoing practice. Take time regularly to reflect on how your actions align with your intentions and adjust as needed.
If you’re ready to explore how your values can shape your life, I would love to help. Together we can clarify what matters most and help create a life that feels purposeful. Schedule a consultation today if you are curious and want to learn more.
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