Navigating Narcissistic Behavior: Five Skills to Support Your Well-Being

Narcissism is something that comes up often in therapy, especially when clients describe emotionally exhausting or confusing relationships. You may find yourself feeling dismissed, constantly on edge, or questioning your own reactions. Many people turn to the term “narcissist” to make sense of these experiences. Sometimes that term fits, and other times, what’s really present are narcissistic traits that may not meet the criteria for a full diagnosis.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a clinical diagnosis that includes persistent patterns of grandiosity, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. These traits are not occasional or situational; they tend to show up across most settings and relationships and create ongoing distress for both the person and the people around them.

However, narcissistic traits do not only appear in NPD. They are often present in other personality disorders as well. Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) can involve rigid thinking, a need for control, and inflexibility that negatively affects relationships. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can involve intense emotional swings, fear of abandonment, and difficulty maintaining stable connections. While each of these diagnoses is distinct, they share something in common: traits that are deeply rooted, resistant to change, and often difficult to navigate for the people in close relationship with them.

This is why it's so important to understand that you cannot control another person's behavior, but you can learn skills to manage the impact of their behavior on your emotional health.

Why Narcissistic Traits Are So Hard to Name

People with narcissistic traits are often inconsistent. They may seem charming, successful, or generous in one setting and become dismissive, reactive, or manipulative in another. These shifts can leave you feeling disoriented. You may find yourself blaming yourself, wondering if you're too sensitive, or struggling to explain to others what is happening.

For many, these dynamics feel familiar. If you grew up in an environment where your emotional needs were overlooked or where love felt conditional, you may be more likely to stay in roles that require over-functioning or self-sacrificing. These early attachment experiences shape how we respond to emotionally unavailable or controlling people as adults.

This is one of the key areas I explore with clients: how our attachment stories influence the relationships we tolerate and the patterns we repeat.

Boundaries Are for You, Not Them

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist widely known for her work on narcissism, speaks directly to this reality. One of her core messages is that boundaries are not tools to fix or change another person. They are tools to protect your own peace, identity, and emotional safety.

Trying to reason with someone who is unwilling or unable to take responsibility for their behavior can be painful and often leads to more distress. In these cases, the most effective path forward is to shift the focus away from them and toward yourself. This includes your values, your limits, and the kind of relationship you want to have with yourself.

Five Skills to Support Your Well-Being

If you are in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic, borderline, or obsessive-compulsive personality traits, you are not imagining the emotional toll it can take. Here are five strategies that can help:

Set Clear Boundaries for Yourself You may not be able to influence their behavior, but you can define how much access they have to your emotional and mental energy. This is not about punishing or testing them. It is about staying clear on what you will and will not accept.

Practice Radical Acceptance This means seeing the person and the relationship for what it is. It does not mean you agree with their behavior, but it allows you to stop waiting for them to become someone they are not. That clarity creates space for new decisions.

Prioritize Self-Care These relationships can be emotionally exhausting. Make time for activities and relationships that replenish you. This includes rest, connection with safe people, and practices that help you feel grounded.

Adjust Your Expectations It may be painful to acknowledge that this person cannot meet your emotional needs. Releasing unrealistic expectations helps protect you from further hurt and opens the door to more realistic choices.

Seek Support You do not have to navigate this alone. Whether through therapy or a supportive community, having a safe place to process your experience can help you reconnect with your voice and values.

When Leaving Isn’t Possible

Sometimes the person you are struggling with is a family member, a co-parent, or someone who is tied to your professional or financial life. Leaving the relationship may not be possible, or it may come with complex consequences you are not ready to face. In these cases, learning to create emotional distance while staying physically connected can be essential.

In therapy, we can explore how to:

• Understand the ways your early attachment experiences may be shaping this relationship

• Separate from patterns of self-blame and over-responsibility

• Strengthen your emotional boundaries, even in ongoing contact

• Reconnect with your values and move toward more meaningful change in your life

  
  

If you are feeling overwhelmed by someone else’s behavior and want support to create more clarity and stability in your life, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can create a plan that prioritizes your well-being and helps you reconnect with your sense of self. Contact me to schedule a session

Note: If you are experiencing domestic violence or feel unsafe in your relationship, please know that help is available.